The title to this entry is an allusion to the break-up of my first, slightly unsuccessful marriage - and my descent into the pits of hell with the second.

That was all over ten years ago but, today, I find myself wondering why I devote so much time and energy, (never mind money,) to a bunch of websites... It costs me well over $US 400 a month, just to keep them "on air." I can only take so much of my paid job, so could this just be a diversion to keep me busy and keep my mind away from thinking about the past? Then there is the fact that I invariably, deliberately mess-up any kind of developing a relationship with the opposite sex. I certainly don't feel ready to get hooked again. Not just yet... Maybe not in the next ten years. Maybe when I am already dead?!

Then there is the art. Making amateur art, without any kind of pressure to pay the bills with the proceeds, is quite a relaxing pass-time and, like the web sites, it does keep my mind occupied on mundane things.

Sometimes though, it is a real struggle just to get motivated; pick-up a stick of pastel and make some kind of mess on a sheet of paper. Even that takes a real effort when I am not in the mood. It's just as well that I am not into oil painting... I'd never even get all that gear set-up!!