Funny Signs

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Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

Dr Jones, at your cervix.

 

In a Podiatrist's office:

Time wounds all heels.

 

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels 

 

On a Plumber's truck:

We repair what your husband fixed.

 

On another Plumber's truck:

Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

 

On a Church Billboard:

7 days without God makes one weak.

 

Outside a tire and exhaust centre:

Invite us to your next blowout.

 

On an Electrician's truck:

Let us remove your shorts.

 

In a Non-smoking area:

If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

 

On a Maternity Room door:

Push! Push! Push!

 

At an Optometrist's Office:

If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

 

On a Taxidermist's window:

We really know our stuff.

 

At a Car Dealership:

The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.

 

Outside another tire and exhaust centre:

No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

 

In a Vets waiting room:

'Back in 5 minutes... Sit! Stay!

 

In a Restaurant window:

Don't stand there hungry - come on in and get fed up.

 

In front of a Funeral Home:

Drive carefully. We'll wait.

 

On the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck:

Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises.

 

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I just love this one:

 

On a garden fence:

Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.

I've still got the signs that I used to have on my office door on a Japanese-registered ship that I was working on. The signs are in Japanese and I bought them, in order to keep the Japanese Junior Officers from bugging me when I was trying to watch the O-Sumo (sumo wrestling).

There is one that reads: "Closed for business" on one side and "Open for business" on the other... Needless to say, I had it firmly fixed on the door so that it always read "Closed for business."

There is another one that translates as "Beware of the ferocious dog!"

And just for good measure, there is a third one that say's "Sales, hawking and soliciting should be strictly refrained from" - or words to that effect!

These signs are now on the gate posts in the house that I rent in the Philippines. It might seem to be a bit pointless, having signs written in Japanese on a house in the Philippines - but they are really quite effective...

If the signs were in either English or Tagalog; for sure, no one would even notice them - let alone read them. At least, being in Japanese, people do sometimes ask me what they mean. Put it this way; all of my neighbours and most of the itinerant vendors around here seem to have got the message! (Which is more than could ever have been said of those errant young Japanese Officers on that Japanese-flagged ship that I used to work on!)

The attachments:

The first one, on the left, reads "Closed for business."

(Note the convenient little hole in the top, in order to allow you to hang it from a piece of string...)

The second one is the "No salesmen" sign.

The last two show the "Beware of ferocious dog" sign.

Hehe! Well, my Siberian Husky, Xiongdi is quite a big dog - but ferocious, he is definitely NOT!!

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Sign at Northampton General Hospital:

 

Family planning advice...

 

 

Use rear entrance!!