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Office Christmas party joke FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 4th November 2008 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over

The parrot and the turkey A young man named John received a parrot as an early Christmas gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and shoved him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said 'I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully> intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.' John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued.... ........'May I inquire as to what that turkey did?' Advance merry Crimbo!!

My first choice for a pastel paper would have to be any decent hand-made watercolor paper A very close second and, in some ways, also my first choice is Waterford Watercolor, Rough After that; anything with plenty of "tooth" and strong enough to withstand some scraping and a lot of water and fixatives. (I tend to make a watercolour wash using pastels and a wet paintbrush to create my initial background colours, layout and colour scheme... after that, I always go over the top with fixatives - except in the final layer where I never use them) Canson Me Tientes is great when I want to really force myself to go easy on the application of pastel and try to keep to a more traditional style of pastel painting with at least a bit of the original paper colour showing through...

Can anyone help identify the (Filipino?) artists of the following four paintings: If you are not a member of the ArtFreaks.com Forums, you can e-mail any information that you might have to the site-owner: Contact Us The following was received by e-mail: I don't have an e-mail address for Ypon's Art Gallery but their physical address and phone numbers can be found at: artfreaks.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=218 These are the paintings, (four now - complete with close-ups of the signatures,) that Victor would like some information on.

I'm just on my way back to Manila after spending a very pleasant week in a very remote farm in Davao del Sur, Mindanao, (in the Southern part of the Philippines). 'Extremely primitive conditions but the hospitality was great and I had a whole stretch of clean, clear and warm river water to myself! And it was great fun riding a motorcycle with four of us on it, going to the local market... Me, the driver and two very pretty and innocent country girls - one 17 years young and the other one just turned 15. I only wish someone could have photographed the smile on my face!! Whilst I was there, I decided to give the family and the other people in the village a break from my prying camera. But I did manage to get loads of photos of light shining through tropical foliage, the rice paddies, the river etc., etc. I also spent a lot of time and effort trying to get a decent shot of a very beautiful cockerel. The chickens there are totally free range and the damn cock kept roaming around! I also spent some time taking photos of different types of light, (morning, noonday, evening, sunny, cloudy etc.,) shining through the water onto the river bed. Hopefully, these will provide some good practice material for learning how to paint natural bodies of water. I only have two regrets with that trip - and both of these were missed photo opportunities caused by my own stupid shyness and lack of confidence with people photography... The first one was when I was sitting in a nipper hut, right beside the path through the woodland along the riverbank. My camera was in my hands and I was already busy snapping away at the early morning sunlight shining through some banana tree leaves. Like I said earlier, I had already decided to give people photography a rest during this recent trip - but then some opportunities are so fleeting and too good to miss. So you really have to grab the moment and take the shot? I was suddenly amazed to see three very young children, (probably aged between about 5 and 7 years old,) riding along the woodland path on a fairly large horse. No doubt, they were riding to school and they just looked so care-free and confident on that big beast! By the time I had rustled-up the courage to brave their inevitable shyness and laughter the moment they should see my camera pointing at them, it was too late and all I could see was the backs of the children and the horse's great bum! I hadn't even raised my camera from my lap... The other missed photo opportunity was when, early on my last morning there, I was down by the river - busy trying to get some close-ups of some riverside flowers... So, obviously, I was ready and obviously, my camera was with me - primed, in hand and ready to go... But I wasn't expecting the family's 15-year-old daughter to come down to the river to say goodbye to me before leaving for school. And it wasn't until Jelyn turned to go that I realized what a pretty picture of carefree youth and innocence she was. With the beautiful, unspoiled rural scenery and that wonderfully soft, early morning light on her cheeks, this was another rare and not to be missed photo opportunity. All I had to do was to call back to her and just mention the word "pictures!" It would have been so easy and Jelyn loves having her photo taken. But, again, I was just too damned shy to ask- and then she was gone... Mind you, these lost photo opportunities may just be the prodding that I really need, in order to encourage me to start painting from the memory and using my imagination? Now that is definitely going to be a big step for me - getting away from painting exclusively from photographs...

Benjemin - One (Pastel painting of a German Shepherd dog) Well. The landscape background might be a bit crude but I can honestly say that this is the first painting that I have made that I am truly satisfied with!! I could say that I was deliberately concentrating on the dog, in order to "bring it forward" or something - but that would be a lie. Notwithstanding, after three years of trying hard, I can honestly say that I am damned chuffed with this one! Four months in the making - (interrupted by the necessity to go back to sea four three months and earn some pennies) - but I got there in the end! And OK... I must admit, I am currently struggling with "Benjamin - Two" but, hey, after three years of struggle, I am not complaining if they don't all come out right first time. One good one that I am personally satisfied with is good enough for me! Image Description: From a photo of my friend, Mr Timothy Penycate's German Shepherd (Alsation) dog. I took the photo when I was out for a walk in the woods with Benj - and I think the excitement shows clearly on his face!! Soft pastels on Waterford rough watercolor paper Help to support ArtFreaks.com as a free website for amateur and professional artists and photographers: Shop discount arts and crafts supplies at MisterArt.com!