The Essex Boy joke
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to
buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him
that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the
boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some tosser wants
to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to
find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman
kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager found the boy and said "I was impressed with the way you
got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on
their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
"Essex, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Essex," the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and footballers there."
"Really?" said the manager, "My wife's from Essex!"
The boy replied:
"No shit!!!??!!
Who did she play for?"