smb
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Everything posted by smb
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It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. A friend 2. A companion 3. A lover 4. A brother 5. A father 6. A master 7. A chef 8. An electrician 9. A carpenter 10. A plumber 11. A mechanic 12. A decorator 13. A stylist 14. A sexologist 15. A gynaecologist 16. A psychologist 17. A pest exterminator 18. A psychiatrist 19. A healer 20. A good listener 21. An organizer 22. A good father 23. Very clean 24. Sympathetic 25. Athletic 26. Warm 27. Attentive 28. Gallant 29. Intelligent 30. Funny 31. Creative 32. Tender 33. Strong 34. Understanding 35. Tolerant 36. Prudent 37. Ambitious 38. Capable 39. Courageous 40. Determined 41. True 42. Dependable 43. Passionate 44. Compassionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 45. Give her compliments regularly 46. Love shopping 47. Be honest 48. Be very rich 49. Not stress her out 50. Not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY: 1. Leave him alone
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Great drawings! I'd love to get back into some drawing myself...
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Please feel free to use our links section to advertise your painting reproduction websites
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Hello and welcome to ArtFreaks.com!
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Sign at Northampton General Hospital: Family planning advice... Use rear entrance!!
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I just love this one: On a garden fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive. I've still got the signs that I used to have on my office door on a Japanese-registered ship that I was working on. The signs are in Japanese and I bought them, in order to keep the Japanese Junior Officers from bugging me when I was trying to watch the O-Sumo (sumo wrestling). There is one that reads: "Closed for business" on one side and "Open for business" on the other... Needless to say, I had it firmly fixed on the door so that it always read "Closed for business." There is another one that translates as "Beware of the ferocious dog!" And just for good measure, there is a third one that say's "Sales, hawking and soliciting should be strictly refrained from" - or words to that effect! These signs are now on the gate posts in the house that I rent in the Philippines. It might seem to be a bit pointless, having signs written in Japanese on a house in the Philippines - but they are really quite effective... If the signs were in either English or Tagalog; for sure, no one would even notice them - let alone read them. At least, being in Japanese, people do sometimes ask me what they mean. Put it this way; all of my neighbours and most of the itinerant vendors around here seem to have got the message! (Which is more than could ever have been said of those errant young Japanese Officers on that Japanese-flagged ship that I used to work on!) The attachments: The first one, on the left, reads "Closed for business." (Note the convenient little hole in the top, in order to allow you to hang it from a piece of string...) The second one is the "No salesmen" sign. The last two show the "Beware of ferocious dog" sign. Hehe! Well, my Siberian Husky, Xiongdi is quite a big dog - but ferocious, he is definitely NOT!!
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Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: Dr Jones, at your cervix. In a Podiatrist's office: Time wounds all heels. On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels On a Plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed. On another Plumber's truck: Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber. On a Church Billboard: 7 days without God makes one weak. Outside a tire and exhaust centre: Invite us to your next blowout. On an Electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts. In a Non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. On a Maternity Room door: Push! Push! Push! At an Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. On a Taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff. At a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment. Outside another tire and exhaust centre: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming. In a Vets waiting room: 'Back in 5 minutes... Sit! Stay! In a Restaurant window: Don't stand there hungry - come on in and get fed up. In front of a Funeral Home: Drive carefully. We'll wait. On the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck: Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises.
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Oh... You've got to love the Philippines! As long as you can keep away from whore bars, you can still get drunk on a pocket-full of change!
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I got some new aftershave today, that smells like bread crumbs. The birds love it! You may have missed this announcement in December that Tampax would be replacing the cord on their tampons with a piece of tinsel. This was for the Christmas period only. David Cameron has announced that he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week all the forms will be printed in English. Husband says to wife: "My Olympic condoms have arrived – I think I’ll wear gold tonight..." Wife says: "why don’t you wear silver and come second for a change" When I was last in England and out driving one morning, I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself; "that guy’s heading for a breakdown"
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It looks great! I think your boyfriend ought to be very pleased with it!
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Welcome to the Full Members group!
Full Membership gives you a bigger messaging quota, better search and uploading capabilities - and free use of the Links and the Classified modules...
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Hello and welcome to ArtFreaks.com!
Sorry about the cumbersome registration process - it's the only way that I can keep the spammers out these days...
If you would like a Full Membership of the Forums, you just need to post some art - or at least update your profile with a photo; put something in the About Me section - or post a few image comments or whatever...
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The Human Resources Manager and the Devil This arrived in my email today. The punchline sounds like it is straight out of the mouth of your average Marine Personnel Manager...
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I'm still getting: 'Much better if you could just upload your images as an attachment to a reply in this topic. You can also upload your images in the Forums > Gallery - and then use the "Insert image" button to place linked copies of them in your Forums posts...
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Hello and welcome to ArtFreaks.com!
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